Who Is?

Being home is one of the toughest tests that i knew i gotta face. And being home somehow made me think of going back to what i was.




Hah hah. None of em actually knew what i was. So basically any advice thrown to me is like pouring ayaq on daun keladi.. Ayaq ada, tapi atas tu je lekat. Its not that because they never try to understand, they did, and they do. But, its just a part of me myself who refused to listen to anything.




Fuhhh, iman mmg tgh rabak bro. As rabak as my result. Both has things in common. Dua2 pon boleh meningkat kalau usaha. Dua2 boleh jadi makin rabak kalau lalai.




 And yeah im missing my old dear self. But i dont know which side of her that i miss so much. Layan drama2 kat tv ni masalah jugak kengkadang, buat aku teringat balik those years. Haha, layan drama jiwang, jiwang lah jadinya. Siapa suruh sendiri masuk time machine?




Past is the place where i hate to visit, but i miss the ppl there. Truth is, i miss how so 'me' was i. Never apologize of you being you they say. So i guess, now, i should apologize my own self for not being me for myself. Sorry, i just couldnt find that 'me' yet. I just dont know where to find her and how to find her.




Being home made me think a LOT. Tho that i miss 'her', but i dont wanna be her. I want to, but i just couldnt. Well maybe one day who knows. In Jannah. Haihlah, bestnya kalau as simple as that.




Jangan risau wahai diri. Awak mungkin rindu dekat dia. Tapi awak tauu, tak best sebenarnya jadi dia. Sebab awak tak sanggup lagi hidup mcm puppet. Ada mata tapi buta, ada anggota, tapi hanya ikut telunjuk dunia.




I am like a broken doll thats trying to find the broken pieces and put it back together so that one day, shes ready to meet up her One Love, with this one custom made beautiful dress.




p/s : Sorry kalau bahan bacaan ni takdapat tambahkan iman. Salaam.