"Idk, simply ask?"
"Okay. Now, let just say, i put another figure beside him, wears shorts, chinese look, tgh tunggu bas jugak. You rasa you akan pergi tanya ke dorg mana satu Islam mana satu tak?"
"Erre. Awkward gila weh nak pg tanya mcmtu. Satg bukan. Kalau agak2, kot boleh pg 'assalamualaikum' je, kalau jawab, Islam ah tu."
"So now back to the question. How do you define yourself as a muslim kalau dr luar pon you takmampu nak jamin.?"
"Idk. Takpaham."
" Kalau org nampak you, you rasa org ingat you apa? Melayu islam ke mix and bukan islam?"
"The latter?"
"So apa beza you dgn org yg bukan Islam?"
"Gosh pening ni. Elaborate."
"It is in your heart girl. Kat luaran nobody could ever assure or confirm or jamin yg you ni islam. Tambah rambut you original brown. The only thing defines Islam in you is what your heart defines your 'Islam'. Ever heard of syahadah?"
"Ofcourse laa, im free hair but i aint no noob. I tahu je syahadah yg dlm solat tu."
"Lol kiddo, chill. I know you arent. I witness laa everything you buat. But im talking bout bukan syahadah dalam solat je. Instead im talking bout syahadah dalam hati. When you feel or admit it, youll live accordingly to what you feel and admit."
"Maksudnya apa benda kita buat semua kena ikut syahadah aa? Kita solat ke apa ke sbb kita naik saksi yang Allah tu tuhan mcmtu? Kita makan pakai tangan sbb kita naik saksi Rasulullah tu pesuruh Allah. Is that how it is?"
"More or less. Based on how you see things munchkin! Kita kena tahu beza Islam betul dengan Islam tak-berapa-nak-betul. Lol i know it sounds weird. Haha dah bunyi mcm ajaran sesat pulak. But truth may sounds weird to us sometime."
"I get the point. So if we live and do wtv we do in life with not accordingly to our syahadah, then sama je lah dengan non muslim?"
"I takcakap sama. Tp kita sendiri boleh pk."
"Hmmm." and i takpernah tahu ada such thing Islam betul dengan Islam tak-berapa-nak-betul. Ingat semua Islam tu sama je lah bila dah Islam. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Allah, guide me.
"Yo mamasita."
"Vat?"
"Kalau pakai shawl pusing2 tu kira mcmne eh?"
"Buat je pape yg you niat for Him, inshaAllah kalau cara dia betul, Allah will count. Okay munchkin?"
"Heeee. Jazakillah sis! Eh eh apa? Jazakillah eh? Betul ke what i said? Heeee."
"Haha comel sangat. Betul aa tu. Waiyyaki jazakillah kheyr, love :)"
***
Pagi tu, waktu lepak dengan Sis Irene. Sis tak cakap banyak benda pon, just tanya pasal beza non muslim dgn tak je. Tp ntah knp, malam tu jugak aku takleh tidur -- and i ended up end my night with a 2 rakaah sunat prayer yang mmg seumur hidup aku tak pernah buat -- solat taubat.
I can still remember that moment. Where my knees were shaking, my heart palpitated mcm tgh lumba fast to furious. and my eyes were bleeding mcm ada tangki besar kat mata yang bocor. Dan tarikh tu, hari tu, changed my life, ever since.
070113
Stickynote pink disebelah laptop dikoyak sedikit. "Sembilan belas, stroke, July, stroke, twelve! May you remember this tarikh forevah, self. May you be better, each day, till one of your foot reaches Jannah." Sambil menulis tarikh di stickynote, Nadrah membebel sendiri. "Sis Irene, I so wanna be like you!", dan stickynote sedikit koyak tu selamat bermastautin di bucu kanan laptop.
0 aksara:
Post a Comment